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Talking to Your Children About Traumatic Events

Writer's picture: Lisa AguilarLisa Aguilar

Talking to children about traumatic events can be a challenging and sensitive process. Here are some general guidelines that may help you navigate this difficult conversation:


  1. Be honest and age-appropriate: It's important to be truthful with your children, but also consider their age and developmental stage. Use simple language that they can understand and avoid sharing unnecessary details that may be overwhelming for them. Provide information that is appropriate for their age and maturity level, and avoid sharing information that may trigger anxiety or fear.

  2. Create a safe space: Make sure your child feels safe and comfortable before starting the conversation. Find a quiet and private space where your child can express their thoughts and feelings without any distractions. Reassure them that they can ask questions and share their emotions openly without judgment.

  3. Listen actively: Give your child your full attention and actively listen to what they have to say. Allow them to express their thoughts and emotions without interrupting or dismissing their feelings. Be empathetic and validate their emotions, letting them know that their feelings are valid and normal. Allow time for your child to process information and formulate questions. Embrace silence.

  4. Provide accurate information: Share accurate information about the traumatic event in a calm and factual manner. Avoid speculating or sharing rumors that may cause confusion or fear. Stick to the facts and provide information that is appropriate for your child's age and understanding. Be mindful of social media outlets and the spread of false information.

  5. Address their concerns: Your child may have questions, concerns, or fears related to the traumatic event. Address their concerns honestly and provide reassurance to the best of your ability. It's okay if you don't have all the answers, but offer comfort and support by being present and empathetic.

  6. Manage your own emotions: It's important to manage your own emotions while talking to your children about traumatic events. Children may pick up on your emotions, so try to remain calm and composed. If you find yourself becoming emotional, take a moment to collect yourself before continuing the conversation.

  7. Offer coping strategies: Discuss healthy coping strategies with your child, such as talking to a trusted adult, engaging in calming activities like deep breathing or drawing, and spending time with supportive friends and family. Encourage your child to express their emotions in healthy ways and let them know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.

  8. Follow up: Traumatic events can have a lasting impact on children, so it's important to continue the conversation and provide ongoing support. Check in with your child regularly, encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings, and offer support as needed. Be patient and understanding as they process their emotions over time.

Remember that every child is different, and some may require more time and support than others. If you notice that your child is struggling to cope with the traumatic event, consider seeking professional help from a qualified mental health professional. Taking care of your child's emotional well-being is essential in helping them navigate through traumatic events and promoting their resilience.


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